Internet Humor TidBits

Topics

• Science Fiction
• Sex Humor
• Christmas Fun
• School, History, Knowledge
• Computer Fun
• Philosophy, Religion, Politics
• Top Something Lists
• Things that don't fit elsewhere
• Other Witticisms On-Line

• Starwars Action Figures - 11/07/97
• Star Wars vs. Star Trek - 03/19/97
• Eerie Coincidences between Love Boat and Star Trek - 11/11/95
• Aliens do Exist - 10/10/95
• Star Trek Original vs. Next Generation - 02/09/95
• The Night Before Christmas on the Enterprise-D @
• Microsoft takes on the Borg @
• Top 10 Sex Lines from the Star Wars Trilogies @

• Sperm Count - 02/23/98
• Done Anything Wild? - 02/23/98
• Things Guys Learn from Action Movies - 11/10/97
• Pre-Relationship Agreement - 04/09/97
• The Dishes - 11/11/95
• Are you a Guy? Take this Quiz - 10/10/95
• The 9 Types of Boyfriends & Girlfriends - 08/23/95
• Gothic Pick-Up Lines - 05/24/95
• Chemical Analysis of Men - 05/05/96
• Chemical Analysis of Women - 03/04/95
• How to Kill an Eel
• Dr. Suess Purity Test
• 50 Facts about Men
• How the Internet is like a Penis
• How the Internet is like a Vagina - - 01/0 8/95
• Seminars for Men
• Seminars for Women
• The Oracle Ponders Women - 02/12/96
• 100 Reasons It's Great to be a Guy @ - 02/23/98
• Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving @ - 03/20/97
• The Top 10 Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex @ - 05/05/96
• 125 Things not to say during Sex @ - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex @ - 05/24/95
• Top 10 Sex Lines from the Star Wars Trilogies @

• A PC Christmas - 02/23/98
• The 12 Bugs of Christmas - 03/28/97
• Does Santa Exist? - 03/28/97
• Santa Exists - 03/28/97
• Christmas Tree Angel - 03/28/97
• Government The Night Before Christmas - 03/28/97
• Redneck The Night Before Christmas - 03/28/97
• Reegineering Christmas - 03/20/97
• The Night Before Christmas on the Enterprise-D
• The Night Before Finals

• Real Answers to Drivers Ed Test - 03/20/97
• Useless Information - 03/20/97
• Don't Mess with Prof. Bonk - 05/05/96
• A Solution to Student Spelling - 02/12/96
• High School vs. College - 03/31/95
• Kids say the Darndest Things - 02/25/95
• Student History of Errors - 01/13/95
• The Night Before Finals @
• Some Examples of Good English
• A Los Angeles Math Exam
• The Ultimate Final Exam
• Cartoon Laws of Physics
• Murphy's Laws of Combat Computer Fun - 02/09/95

• The 12 Bugs of Christmas @ - 03/28/97
• Computer Chickens - 02/23/98
• Three Monkeys - 02/23/98
• Things Computers Can Do In Movies - 02/23/98
• The Programmer and The Engineer - 02/23/98
• The History of the Net - 02/23/98
• A Question for Programmers - 04/09/97
• The Apocalypse Email Virus - 04/09/97
• You know you are living in the Bay Area when ... - 03/27/97
• Abort, Retry, Ignore, Nevermore - 03/20/97
• TechWeenie Glossary - 03/20/97
• Computer Virus Guide - 03/19/97
• Drug Dealers and Software Engineers - a Comparison - 03/19/97
• You Know You're an Internet Addict When... - 03/19/97
• The Unix Wizard ... - 03/28/97
• The History of OS's: The Dosfish - 02/12/96
• Unix Hierarchy of Being - 10/06/95
• The True Story About Unix - 05/05/96
• If Operating Systems were Beers... - 10/06/95
• If Operating Systems were Airlines... - 08/23/95
• If Dr.Seuss Were a Computer Analyst... - 05/05/96
• One Question Geek Test - 05/03/96
• People for Ethical Treatment of Software - 02/12/96
• The Oracle Ponders Women @ - 02/12/96
• GIF Jokes - 01/31/96
• If Toasters were made by... - 05/05/96
• How Computer Scientists Would Design a Toaster - 01/31/96
• Kewl Coding Styles - 10/14/95
• More Computer Humour - 10/10/95
• The sysadmin manpage - 10/10/95
• The Story of Mel, a REAL Hacker - 08/23/95
• Hacking through the Jargon Jungle - 05/24/95
• The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary - 05/24/95
• You Know You've Been on the Computer Too Long... - 10/06/95
• A Tech Support Horror Story - 01/24/95
• The Programmers Guide to shooting oneself in the foot
• How to make UN*X PC (politically correct) Compatible
• The tin vs. pine debate
• Pepsi and the Internet
• Definition of Windows 95 - 02/23/98
• Microsoft to Acquire US Government - 11/07/97
• Microsoft Sues Tomagotchi - 11/07/97
• Microsoft Acquires Higher Source - 04/09/97
• Microsoft Boot Camp - 03/20/97
• Microsoft Windows 95 Stuns World - 10/06/95
• The Last Holdout for Windows 95 - 10/06/95
• Microsoft buys 1995 - 05/24/95
• Microsoft takes on the Borg
• Bill Gates goes to Hell - 05/05/96
• Bill Gates for President - 05/24/95
• Windoze.c - 03/04/95
• Recipe for Windows 95(tm) - 08/23/95
• Another Scandal at the Top - 02/23/98
• Geekonics - 03/19/97
• Top 15 Signs your Webmaster is in a Cult @ - 04/09/97
• The 10 DOS Commandments @ - 03/19/97
• Computers and God - 05/03/96
• How God Created the Earth by Computer - 02/25/95
• Bill Gates goes to Heaven
• Important Message about the End of the World
• Microsoft buys the Roman Catholic Church
• Top 12 Things you Don't want to Hear from Tech Support @ - 04/09/97
• Top 10 Reasons Computers are Male @ - 03/20/97
• 106 Ways to Be Annoying on UseNet @ - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies @ - 05/05/96
• Top 10 Anagrams for "Netscape Communications." @ - 10/06/95
• Top 10 HTML Extensions that didn't make it into NetScape 1.0N @ - 03/31/95
• 30 Signs that Technology has Taken Over your Life @ - 03/31/95
• Top 10 Ways Things Would Be Different if Microsoft Built Cars @ - 02/12/96
• 50 Ways to Confuse, Worry Or Just Scare the Bejeezus Out Of People in the Computer Lab

• The Temperature of Heaven - 02/23/98
• Predictions from the Past - 03/31/95
• Great Minds Speak - 02/25/95
• I Believe Clinton - 02/23/98
• God is a Republican - 02/23/98
• Where Drivers are From - 02/23/98
• Ineffective Daily Affirmations - 02/23/98
• You might be a child of the 80s if... - 04/09/97
• Children of the Eighties - 04/09/97
• 3 Wishes - 04/09/97
• Yankonics - 04/09/97
• Geekonics @ - 03/19/97
• If I ever become an Evil Overlord - 03/28/97
• The Bill of No Rights - 03/28/97
• Supermodel Deep Thoughts - 03/20/97
• Psychiatric Hotline - 03/20/97
• God & The Lotto - 03/19/97
• Questions of Life - 03/19/97
• The Rejection Rejection Letter - 05/05/96
• How Shit Happens - 05/05/96
• Computers and God @ - 05/03/96
• The Language of the Job Hunt - 02/12/96
• ... to boldly shit where no one has shit before! - 11/11/95
• The Warning Signs Of Insanity - 08/23/95
• Administratium - 03/04/95
• How God Created the Earth by Computer @ - 02/25/95
• The Story of Creation - 02/09/95
• Why did the Chicken cross the road?
• Bill Gates goes to Heaven @
• Important Message about the End of the World @
• The PC Manifesto
• The Nervous Priest
• Microsoft buys the Roman Catholic Church @

• Top 15 Signs your Webmaster is in a Cult - 04/09/97
• The 10 DOS Commandments - 03/19/97
• 100 Reasons It's Great to be a Guy - 02/23/98
• Top 12 Things you Don't want to Hear from Tech Support - 04/09/97
• Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving - 03/20/97
• Top 10 Reasons Computers are Male - 03/20/97
• The Top 10 Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex - 05/05/96
• 106 Ways to Be Annoying on UseNet - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies - 05/05/96
• 125 Things not to say during Sex - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex - 05/24/95
• Top 10 Sex Lines from the Star Wars Trilogies
• Top 10 Anagrams for "Netscape Communications." - 10/06/95
• Top 10 HTML Extensions that didn't make it into NetScape 1.0N - 03/31/95
• 30 Signs that Technology has Taken Over your Life - 03/31/95
• Top 10 Ways Things Would Be Different if Microsoft Built Cars - 02/12/96

• Avoid Foul Language! - 11/11/95
• Real Beer - 02/23/98
• Superman, Drunk - 02/23/98
• What you can tell about a person by the Car they Drive - 03/20/97
• Things you DON'T want to hear while on the operating room table - 03/20/97
• New Disny Classics - 03/19/97
• An Annotated Thermometer - 06/12/96
• Suicide, Accident or Homicide? - 05/05/96
• The Worst Country-Western Song Titles - 11/11/95
• The Ford Bronco "OJ Package" - 10/10/95
• Experiments on Twinkies - 03/31/95
• Taco Hell - 05/03/96

• Microsoft Code has No Bugs!

None of these were written by me, and many of them are unattributed, as that is the way I received them. If you wrote one of these, and would like to be attributed, just mail me.